Box Art: FINAL CUT (1988)

Sometimes movies aren’t as awesome as the box art and description they present.  Today, I offer Larry G. Brown’s FINAL CUT.



The Description:
“Caddo, Texas: The treacherous eerie bayou was the perfect location site for a Hollywood film crew.  It was the final location for WES, the veteran director...  KELLY, the stuntman, MARK, the technician and the wisecracking SMILIE.  They were finishing one of the greatest action films ever made.  An incredible piece of technology, a high-tech rocket boat, was poised for a record jump over the trees.  Penetrating the deep swamp, the four men were getting close to stumbling upon the local SHERIFF’s sinister scheme.  Suddenly, SMILIE and a local GIRL disappear.  

The game is on... a life or death race to unravel the mystery.  Will the steaming Tournee bayou be their final resting place?  The stunning conclusion is unreeled in the action packed... FINAL CUT.  There are no second takes!” (They probably should have taken some)

As you can see, the copy I found was from a West Coast Video.  They took the liberty of cutting the art to fit within one of their boxes.  However, the art is pretty sweet, with the montage of hot lady leaning back in the light (not in the movie), the woman with the gun (who’s head is covered with the price sticker) and a motorcycle guy with a gun (only in the first 5 minutes of the movie.)  On the back we are treated to gun-fire and a glider plane coming to land on a semi-truck.  
No doubt, all of this is sweet.  As you can also see on the front cover, this movie is Rated R.  Because they already have this rating, I wish they would’ve gone all out.  There is a great scene where Kelly, the stuntman, ambushes a group of the back-woods low-lifes and guns them down with an UZI.  However, the concurrent shot is just of a bunch of guys lying down.  If it was slow-motion with speed metal and juicy squibs going off like crazy, this movie would have been so much sweeter.  In fact, I would say that pretty much describes the entire film.

-J. Moret

Review: Dust Devil - The Final Cut (Limited Collector’s Edition) (1992)

Directed by Richard Stanley
Final Cut: 108 mins, color.  Work Print: 115 mins, color.
DVD released by Subversive Cinema, 2006

Dust Devil is that rare movie that is both art film and genre piece.  It is beautifully shot and wonderfully put together.  And yet, it is in that strange unmarketable space of being strange and creepy, but doesn’t have the scares or gore needed to draw a horror audience.  Not surprisingly, the distributor (Miramax) hated it.  Stanley originally brought in the film at 120 minutes, and Miramax cut it to 87 minutes without his permission or cooperation.  The version they cut removed all supernatural elements of the film and cut out nearly all of Zakes Mokae’s scenes, as he was a non-traditional hero, ie: African Zulu. The studio, Palace Pictures, went broke and the film disappeared, never finding any kind of wide release.  Stanley hunted down the negative, which was being held by the investors, and he personally paid for his own cut of the film.  Subversive Cinema has now released Stanley’s final cut of the film.  

The film centers on three major characters: Ben Mukurob (Zakes Mokae), who is a Zulu policeman who has been hunting the Dust Devil (Robert John Burke) and Wendy (played by Chelsea Field, who you might know better as the flight attendant in Commando “Don’t wake my friend, he’s dead tired” or Teela in Masters of the Universe -Dolph Lundgren!).  The Dust Devil is a supernatural evil, called a Nagtloper.  He is a drifter who kills and feeds off the life-force of those who have lost the will to live.  As the narrator tells us, he can smell towns and people that are dying.  He ritualistically cuts people apart and then keeps their fingers, as we are later told, “there is a whole lot of power in fingers.”  Mukurob has dedicated 15 years of his life to the hunting of this man, this serial killer, this Nagtloper.  His room is plastered in newspaper stories linked to this devil.  Wendy walks out on her abusive husband and decides to just drive, with no sense of hope.

Wendy ends up picking up the drifter and giving him a ride.  Mukurob continues to hunt, but is caught in the politics and mire of South Africa, which is in the midst of civil unrest and racial tensions are high.  Wendy gets involved with the Devil, and becomes his next target.  She escapes and he chases her into the desert.  Mukurob follows them into the wasteland, where there is surreal showdown in a deserted city sunken in the sand.  

At one point, Mukurob tells Wendy to wait, saying:
“I know what I’m doing.  I’m a cop.”
Wendy replies, “That Won’t Help.”
Mukurob, “I know.”

Exactly right.

The film was shot in Namibia, and sand dominates every inch of it.  It can be seen in the hair and teeth of every actor.  It blows constantly and seems to cover every surface.  The color temperature and film stock give the film an almost Aussie exploitation look.  It feels all the more epic with the giant sweeping helicopter shots and long wide takes.  Simon Boswell’s Morricone-ish soundtrack adds another dimension to the moody, atmospheric feeling of the film.  All the elements of a Western seem to come to the fore after the soundtrack really finds it’s place near the end of the film.  

I originally heard about Richard Stanley when I read his wonderful essay, “Dying Light: an obituary for the great British horror movie,” in a book a friend loaned me (thanks Tom!), British Horror Cinema.  In it, he discussed The Scala cinema in the King’s Cross neighborhood of London.  The cinema had originally been London’s first Primatarium (an ape house).  His love for the theatre and his description of the programmers and projectionists at the theatre made a deep connection.  Unfortunately, the Scala is now closed, and I feel a bit mournful for a place I will never know.  But, it is from there that he met the people from Palace Pictures and how we now have Dust Devil.

Biggest Surprise:
That this doesn’t have much of a following.  Something this creative and well made should have been picked up.  It is also a shock to me that this doesn’t have a sequel of any kind.  (though, that is a good thing)

Trivia:

• Richard Stanley is the great-grandson of the great explorer / adventurer Sir Henry Stanley, who saved Sir David Livingston, coining the phrase “Dr. Livingston, I presume?”
• Stanley left South Africa at 16 years old to avoid being drafted into the military
• Stanley was with the Mujahedin in Afghanistan when his first film, Hardware, was approved.  (He is Rambo in Rambo III!)

Set Yourself Up:

• The film’s pacing is slow and moody, so set the lights correctly.  Don’t have the fluorescent overheads on.
• Get some Tyson Chicken Fingers and a few cans of Castel, put them in your basement and let a small layer of dust form over them.

The Goods:
The Limited Collector’s Edition is an outstanding release.  Subversive went all out for this one.  Limited to 9,999 (that seems like a lot, but it does appear now to be out of print), it is a 5 disc tribute to Stanley’s work.  The first disc is a great transfer of Stanley’s Final Cut of the film.  The second disc is his work print, which is interesting only if you want to see his editing process, but still really great to have. Unfortunately, they must have taken this from an old VHS or something, because the aspect ratio is 4:3.  The third disc is Secret Glory, Stanley’s documentary on Otto Rahn, a Nazi SS officer who was obsessed with the holy grail.  The fourth disc contains two of his short documentaries, Voice of the Moon, about his time in Afghanistan, and The White Darkness, a film he did for BBC about voodoo practices in Haiti.  The fifth disc is the soundtrack, which is great.  You also get a Dust Devil comic book, two commentaries, featurettes, a production diary, essays on his documentaries, and the original trailers (that are horrible at selling the film).  All in all, this is one of the best releases I have found in awhile.

You also get this quote from Steve Beard:
“Looks like Tarkovsky on acid and feels like Nightmare on Elm Street placed through a cultural blender.”  Whatever that means.

-J. Moret

Rant: That Greasy Video Store Guy You Can Trust

We started this site to discuss films that have been ignored, misunderstood or forgotten.  Netflix and other online media sources have made a giant glut of films available to stream and, in  effect, deemed them all disposable.  There are now thousands of titles available at any moment, but without a sense of direction or recommendation, it is as if we are all in that situation at the video store again, when we just wander the aisles.   In the end, it was always that greasy guy behind the counter who had the best recommendation.  (Some sweet smelly dude at Suncoast Motion Picture Company recommended Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki and for some stupid reason we ignored him and years later regretted it.  Thanks and sorry smelly guy). We, in effect want to be one of the sweet smelly guys who you can trust.  For years, we had been hunting down and sharing films together.  Now, we are sharing that process publicly and as we do, we're hoping you will share films with us as well.  We will share some forgotten or little talked about gems, and some films that should be reconsidered.  Some of the films we are extremely excited about can't be considered "good" in the traditional sense, but we share them because they gained our affection in one way or another.

Over the past fifteen years there seems to be more curiosity about exploitation films and “bad” films.  Much of this has arisen out of an ironic disdain for such films.  Films like The Room are a prime example of a generation that loves to dote on and share “bad” films.  We were definitely part of this.  In high school, we would have “Fests” where we would watch 14 hours of bad films in a row, and then go to school the next morning.  It was a badge of honor to see each other so exhausted, but it was also a deep social connection.  I had a “Bushwhacked Party” at my parent’s house one night and I remember fifteen or twenty people coming over to watch Daniel Stern bumble his way through the insane 1995 film.  Certain members of the group watched with a certain disbelief and bored disconnection.  However, for the rest of us, it was magnetic.   At the time, something about sharing that experience with others and laughing at the film was the whole enjoyment of it.

A few years later, I was introduced to Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless (1960).  I was astounded.  I began to see film as a transformative art.  I wanted to study it and be near it in anyway that I could.  Like most, I began hunting down every classic director I could find and watching everything I could get my hands on.  However, I was always trying to reconcile my love of the strange little "bad" films that have no reason to be respected, but have their own charm.   At first, it was defending truly brilliant films like Videodrome and Dawn of the Dead.  But, soon,  I was recognizing the drive to find anything different and I started re-thinking the “value” of films altogether.  Obviously, something like  Blow Out can’t be discussed in the same way as An Autumn Afternoon or Touch of Evil.  But, It is both entertaining and insightful.  I truly love the film.   I have moved beyond the irony.   I now see that films like The Dead Next Door and Frankenstein Conquers the World can be as interesting and worthwhile as any major studio film or art film.   In the no-budget movie world, there is a sense of surprise and tension that cannot be found in most Hollywood films.  You can’t tell where the film is going because of its possibility for true spontaneity.  There is not a million-dollar budget, so there is no producer to keep things tight.  There are no seasoned professionals to keep it within the parameters of the three-act format.  There is no studio keeping tabs on their investment.

A film like The Avengers is enjoyable because it is so predictable.  Each beat is pre-described for the audience. But, because of this I find it completely forgettable.  When you are looking for an entertaining and interesting film, the plots and ideas really aren’t that much different between Phantasm and Thor.  However, for those of us that spend every moment of our free time that we can on watching films, the predictable becomes increasingly tedious.  Therefore, something like Phantasm has that much more appeal.
I will say here, that I do think there are bad films.  But, I think those films probably connect with someone and I see no reason to run them down.  In the end, a huge fraction of the films one will either enjoy or dislike is completely conditional.  I wasn’t ready to enjoy and truly love Kubrick’s films when I was a teenager, but re-watching them now as an adult, I love them.  Likewise, a film like Sledgehammer is so much more enjoyable with a group than it is alone.  And, because of that, we are not going to be focusing our attention on films that we don’t enjoy.

I will definitely be writing about all kinds of films here, because my tastes are varied and my enjoyment of movies is not contained within one type of film experience.  However, I hope to make it clear that we don’t love things simply because they are bad.  There is, of course, a certain irony in acknowledging that something is poorly made, and yet finding great enjoyment in it.  I’m as guilty as anyone in this. But, I also understand there is a certain cruelty in that.  Laughter and degradation of films come at the expense of honest intentions and very often, a lot of passion and hard work.  And, it is this passion and hard work that I find so entertaining and exciting.  It is often people working with limited resources, trying to create something worthwhile.  It is not our goal to make fun of these films or the people in them, but to bring attention to the ones that we think are worthwhile.

-J. Moret

Box Art: THE JAR

Sometimes movies aren’t as awesome as the box art and description they present.  Today, I offer Bruce Toscano’s THE JAR.  It Blows the Lid off Terror.

“Paul, once an easy-going guy, has just experienced the shock of his life.  And now he’s gone absolutely crazy.  He’s just come face to gruesome face with a repulsive, embryonic creature he discovered in a jar, and it sure looks like it’s out to get him.  He can’t get hold of himself, and those bizarre nightmares are really getting on his nerves.  He’s not even paying attention to his beautiful neighbor Crystal, and that’s not normal.  It’s that thing in the jar that’s to blame.  But for some reason, he just can’t seem to get rid of it.  It’s already made his life miserable, and now it wants to kill him.  Boy, does Paul have a monster of a problem.”  

How killer does that sound?  In reality, I found this movie rather indecipherable.  There was indeed a jar, but no sweet stop-motion monster or gore to go with it.  There were some neat effects (such as his bathtub filling with blood), the acting was pretty funny (all dubbed?  Probably from Italian) and the music by Obscure Sighs was killer, but it ultimately failed to entertain.  But, if you find it cheap, you can’t go wrong with that art.    

-J. Moret

Review: Killer Workout (Aerobicide) (1987)

Directed by David A. Prior
85 mins.  Color.
Mom N Pop Video Shop edition.



David A. Prior is an All-Star Video favorite. Sledgehammer, as you will soon find out, is the current gold standard for us when you talk about the largely unseen that simply must be experienced. Killer Workout is Prior’s third film, and it’s hilarious. I am finding it incredibly difficult to not tell you this is the best movie ever made in the history of film, so I won’t even try. It’s his first film shot on 35mm, but the only way to watch it is on Youtube or buying it on DVD from “Mom N Pop Video Shop,” a little public domain operation that most likely transferred the movie from a VHS tape. They have a “David A. Prior Collection!”

With Killer Workout, Prior does away with plausibility, continuity, and characters. He goes right to the jugular: Girls doing aerobics in weird 80s leotards, the best fight scenes ever caught on film, a great synth-pop soundtrack, awkward nudity, and a serial killer with the worst weapon I’ve ever seen. But, that doesn’t it mean it’s poorly made or fails to entertain. Prior was a young man learning the craft, and this gem captures the spontaneity of non-professionalism so perfectly.

The film opens with a young lady (we don't see her face) coming home to an answering machine message saying that she will be on the cover of Cosmopolitan, but that she needs to be tan because the agent said she would be. She ends up at Second Sun Tanning Salon to brown down. While inside the tanning bed, something goes horribly wrong and flames begin to shoot out. It’s pretty awesome. Years later Final Destination 3 would totally rip this off.

Rather than give you a full rundown of the film, here are three sequences in the middle that exemplify the reasons you should watch it. Chuck (the amazing Ted Prior) is taking out garbage behind Rhonda’s Workout (where most of the movie takes place) and a Camaro aggressively stops right in front of him. Chuck angrily throws the garbage to the side and out steps Jimmy. This being their first time meeting, this is their exchange:

Chuck, “Hey, what’s your problem?”
Jimmy, “Problem? I don’t have a problem. New around here?”
Chuck, “First day. Who’s asking?"
Jimmy, “Someone who’s going to give you some real good advice. Stay away from Rhonda.”
Chuck, “Get out of here.”
Jimmy, “Stay away or I’ll take you apart, piece by piece.”

Then, Jimmy throws a punch, and they have a sweet fight. Jimmy attempts a spin kick (!) and Chuck shoves him against the wall. Meanwhile, busty babe Deb comes out in a pink leotard with a strange mesh covering and a MASSIVE golf visor. She watches for a moment and then asks Chuck if he’d like to go for a ride. He replies, “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.”

From there, they go to Deb’s house and sit in the front yard. Deb goes inside to change. Chuck picks up the phone (yep, they are outside on the front lawn and inexplicably there is a phone on a little table), he proceeds to dial:

Chuck, “Mr. Erickson, yep, I know all about that. I haven’t done that yet. Don’t worry about it. I gotta go.” Deb comes out in a robe.
Deb, “You aren’t leaving are you?”
Chuck, “I need to get back to Rhonda’s. I’ve got a lot to do.”
Deb, “You have a lot to do right here.”
Chuck, “Is that right?”
She then drops the robe to reveal she is now in a bikini and they make out. End scene.

Prior’s depiction of women here is absolutely appalling and hilarious. Every female shown in the film has the exact same body type (giant boobs, super small waist). The entire wardrobe for the women consist of workout leotards that show too much skin. In-between every wildly entertaining moment of dialogue (I am quite convinced there was no “script” per se, just a basic outline) there are close-ups of women doing aerobics, which are obviously very sexually suggestive. Somewhere in the back of his mind, I think Prior was attempting to make a point about how image obsessed the aerobics world is (this actually sort of comes through and isn’t just me trying to give him credit, but I won’t reveal how). However, what really comes across is that this dude loves watching hot ladies gyrate and thrust.

Most surprising thing about this movie:
Not very much nudity. Sure, you get a little, but by the amount of time that the camera is directly focused on women’s breasts, surprisingly sparse.

The Hype:
In order to convince your friends to watch it with you, tell them this: “Someone is murdered for vandalism.”

Needless Trivia: 
- Prior hated working with the cinematographer because he didn’t respect his opinion. Apparently that cinematographer hadn’t seen Sledgehammer, or didn’t enjoy close up shots of spandex clad breasts.
- Chuck is also the name of Ted Prior’s character in Sledgehammer. Not sure if this means that this is a spin-off from that movie or perhaps an inside joke between Ted and David.

Set Yourself Up:
Gather two or three friends in a dark basement. There are some movies you should watch alone and some you shouldn’t. If you’re a weirdo (like us), you can probably have a good time with this one on your own, but it’s best with friends. Purchase some sweet alcoholic beverages. You’re probably best off with Coors, Schlitz or Pabst. If you’re going to make a night of it, go Karkov. Cocktail Weenies, BBQ sauce, taco flavored Doritos.

You can find Killer Workout in it’s entirety on YouTube here:


You can also buy it on Amazon from the Mom N Pop Video Shop. It is a print on demand DVD with no special features whatsoever. All of their releases are based on getting films in the public domain. However, if you buy this DVD you are treated to a great german poster on the front, pretty sweet neon lines and four outstanding stills from the film.
You also get this fantastic description on the back of the DVD:
"Two Years ago, a young woman named Valerie was burned after entering a tanning salon. Now, her twin sister, Rhonda runs a local gym where all of a sudden, people are being murdered."

-J. Moret