Sunday, August 23, 2015


Perhaps there is something about the Santo films that truly captures what I love about genre films and pro-wrestling.  Or, maybe its that the Mexican filmmakers who worked on the series know how to perfectly combine the wrestling picture, super hero film and horror / westerns.

The luchador is an image that does not translate well to American sensibilities.  We consider men in masks to be goofy.  Watching Santo drive his convertible, ride a horse or look over documents in his mask and a full business suit is just simply hilarious.  However, in Mexico, the luchador is a serious character.  The mask is sacred.  The things he represent are good and just.  El Santo is the most famous of these characters.  Don't think of him as Hulk Hogan (before the recent events turned him into scumbag #1).  He is more akin to Batman.

El Santo (The Saint) is the character charismatically played by Rudolfo Guzman Huerta for nearly five decades.  He was reportedly a decent baseball player and then dedicated Jiu-Jitsu student.  He premiered as El Hombre Rojo (The Red Man) in Mexico City in 1935.  In 1942 he became known as El Santo.

In 1952 Santo appeared in Sensacional de Luchas issue no. 425.  The comic book would run continusouly for another 35 years.

Where Santo truly became interesting, however, was in cinema.  In 1958, he appeared in El Cerebro del Mal aka Santo contra Cerebro del Mal.  (The Evil Brain).  The movie is super strange.  It plays like a straight western for nearly an hour.  A girl has been kidnapped by an evil town boss and a lawman must seek out and save his sister.  Like I said, this plays for nearly an hour.  But, at one point, there is a desperate struggle at the edge of a cliff.  Multiple henchman have the lawman cornered.  Then, riding furiously on a horse, donning both mask and cape, Santo comes riding to the rescue.  The scene plays back and forth, lawman fighting, then Santo riding, lawman fighting, etc...  Finally, Santo arrives.  He clotheslines, suplexes and double-axe-handle-smashes his way through the henchmen.  He then proceeds to toss them from the cliff!  Its amazing. These dudes just want to fight and Santo proceeds to murder all of them.

Santo would go on to appear in more than 52 lucha films.  The basic formula would remain the same.  People are in trouble.  They call on Santo.  He wrestles some guy in the ring and then comes and dominates.  I haven't seen all of them as a huge majority of these films have yet to be released in the States with English subtitles, but the basic underlying beauty of these films is their unabashed love of the unexpected.  In Santo contra las Mujeras Vampiros (Santo vs the Vampire Women) Santo pushes a handful of vampire women into their coffins and then proceeds to burn them all alive.

I find something almost courageous about the pacing of low budget pictures from this time period.  Slow doesn't really define.  It's almost more like tedious.  But, for me, that's part of the enjoyment.  The build up is all the more enjoyable when Santo calls on his Santo video phone from his silver convertible.

And now we come to SANTO Y BLUE DEMON CONTRA LOS MONSTRUOS (1970).  I picked this film to play at the cemetery because it is a different kind of special.  By 1970, the people making Santo films had perfected the look and feel.  They had made 22 of them already.  They needed to spice it up.  What if he were to fight all the monsters?!  The evil Dr. Halder combines the forces of Dracula, Frankenstein, The Cyclops, Mummy, etc, to take over the world.  They also brainwash the lovable Blue Demon to be their minion.  The pacing here is quick.  The wrestling match scene is well commentated.  The fight scenes are over the top, and there are a ton of them.  In reality, this is a B picture that would've played well in American drive-ins had it been dubbed into English.

I can't imagine this film won't make you fall in love the world of Santo.  It worked for me.

-J. Moret

Sunday, August 16, 2015


This time John and Matt discuss THE FAN.
No. . . not that one. . . not the Wesley Snipes movie. . .
Anyway. Check it out.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, July 19, 2015


John and Matt discuss the Indonesian masterpiece and Terminator ripoff, Lady Terminator.

This may be the most serious review of this movie ever made. . . and it's really not that serious.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, June 28, 2015


Director: Jorg Buttgereit
1988 - West Germany
Shot on 8mm Film
2014 Cult Epics - Blu-Ray & DVD
Banned in a bunch of places

Because the cover art may get our blog flagged. . .

I have a really bad habit of letting my curiosity get the best of me. Usually I find that when this happens, what I get myself into is much different than what I expected.

Nekromantic is one of those films that a certain sub-set of horror fans really like. They wear pins, patches, and talk it up to everyone that will listen. It's relative scarcity adds to it's mystique. One day at the dirty flea market 20 miles up the road, I saw the recent Blu-Ray release of the film for sale. I thought, "It's called Nekromantic. . . and that's pretty dumb. . . but all those dudes at horror conventions love this movie, maybe there's more to it that sex with a a corpse."

I was right, and I was wrong.

Basically the film follows a dude named Rob. He picks up stiffs for a living. We see him pick up a dismembered corpse from a traffic accident and get to witness some no budget gore effects. We pretty much see his job is horrible and so is his home life. His girlfriend Betty is bored with him, his coworkers think he's a creep. His life is pretty terrible. Because he totally is a creep.

The feeling of rejection and lifelessness is one many people can relate to. And then the movie goes off the deep end.

There is a completely random scene where this dude is getting drunk and shooting his gun. He accidentally kills a gardener, wheels away the body and dumps it in a lake. Rob is assigned with the clean up. He brings the decomposed body home to his girlfriend. They have a very softcore yet suggestive threesome with the corpse and a condomed pipe (complete with nauseating  film effects).

Rob thinks his relationship is getting better. Then after being fired from his terrible job he comes home to find Betty has left him, and taken the corpse. Rob becomes suicidal, going berserk on people (and cats) and sexing their bodies. In the end we pretty much learn that life's a bitch and then you stab yourself in the belly while pleasuring yourself.

Alone at last.
Nekromantic is horrible in every way. It comes across more so as an extremely dark comedy than horror film. Mostly do to it's shoddy construction. I was shocked that I was laughing more than cringing while watching the film. The film is more about how Rob descends into madness, driven by emotional and sexual rejection, all by his own doing. He just wasn't good enough.

This is was a zero budget film. The blood and guts are real (from slaughtered animals). The acting is terrible, it's shot on 8mm and it looks like smeared poop. It sucks bigtime.

It's much more interesting than I thought it would be, but at the same time, it was terrible and I will never view it again. That being said, I am glad that my curiosity was satisfied. I can take it of my list of terrible movies that I haven't seen.

The Blu-Ray is totally stuffed with features. . . which is great, if you like the movie. I didn't really, so I didn't bother. As for picture quality, 8mm can only look so good. This Blu-Ray is likely the best it's gonna get.

Truly, this film is almost completely harmless and shouldn't be seen as a dangerous piece of media, as it often is. Sure, it is pretty twisted, but it does have some (if only a shred) of merit. . . and all of the people who are into this movie probably like it because a woman simulates a sex act with a fake corpse. . .

G. McSkullerslamasegagenesis

Saturday, May 23, 2015


We review Satan's Blade. Released by Olive Films and Slasher Video.

and then we whine about how computers suck.

Check out this episode!

Saturday, January 31, 2015


This week "The Gang" discusses Gore-Met Zombie Chef from Hell. We also touch on Scissor kicking Google, Triple Tap, Baby, and why a person that sustains life by eating human flesh probably wouldn't serve it to others.

Check out this episode!