Box Art: THE BLADE MASTER

Collecting Physical Media is a dying hobby. Digital Media is becoming more overwhelming and prevalent all the time. Streaming services offer what seems to be an unlimited amount of titles. However, services like Netflix and Hulu are actually far more limited and temporary. So, in our hunt to find interesting titles that can only be obtained physically, I offer you THE BLADE MASTER.

The Description:
"The castle of knowledge in a land of contradiction houses the ultimate weapon. Should it fall into the hands of evil, the land would surely die. The Blade Master (Ator), a hero of mythical strength, leads a small band in the defense of good against the overwhelming forces of evil."

The Evaluation:
"The castle of knowledge in a land of contradiction houses the ultimate weapon." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!? After watching this movie I can honestly say that I have no clue what this movie is about. I do know for certain that it's Italian sword & sorcery at it's worst. The movie is filled with just a bunch of meaningless, random scenes. The movie opens up with a 10 minute sequence of cavemen eating then fighting. What does this have to do with the rest of the movie? Not a God damn thing. There is a sequence where the main character Ator flies around in a hang glider for about 8 minutes. The scene just never ends. It's like the director Joe D'Amato knew this movie sucked so he was like "MORE HANG GLIDER!". He should have said "More action! More gore!" cause there is seemingly none of that in this movie.

The funniest part of this flick happens around the beginning when the old wizard-y guy explains who Ator is to his daughter. What ensues is a 10 minute highlight reel of the first Ator movie, Ator, The Fighting Eagle. All of the "best" scenes compiled for your viewing "pleasure". I wish I would have just watched an equivalent version of this highlight reel for The Blade Master and saved myself about an hour and ten minutes.

The box is fun. It's got a pretty sweet painting of Ator and a lady in action poses. The lady is a little more scantily clad than in the actual movie which isn't bad. It makes the movie seem way more badass than it really is. The box says "A pure action fantasy." I can find a couple things wrong with that tagline.

The absolute best part about this movie is that when my roommate took the tape out of the box, the tape had no labels whatsoever and the record tab was still intact. It looked like a blank, recordable VHS. We had no clue if it was the actual movie or an old baseball game or a home made porn. It could have been anything but unfortunately it was The Blade Master.

Pictured: dissapointingly NOT the tape from The Ring 

- T. Reinert